Stamped: February 25th, 2009

I struggle in my relationship with the Father, and yes, I do think every Christian struggles in this regard. I’m either taking Him for granted and cheapening His kindness toward me or I’m running all over Him in doubt denying that He is at all kind. If you’ve been a believer for some time one of the hardest areas to see the love of God is in His discipline. I miss His kindness here all the time because I mistake it for impatience or some evil desire in Him to “get me.” It’s not His fault it’s mine. I know it is.

There are some times I rejoice in and love the Lord’s discipline because I immediately see the effect it has on working love in my heart for Him, and I see the danger that my soul was in from toying with sin or harboring a judgmental thought. But then there are those times where I think His discipline is a little extreme: I mean why cause so much misery in my heart over something that is “not all that bad.” Why bring it up in every sermon I hear or in every conversation? The misery that is produced in my heart is not because the sin is bad in my eyes, but because it is bad in His eyes and the grief is not necessarily mine in the fleshly sense, it is the Spirit of God living inside of me that is screaming for discipline and God grants it, and then I complain!

I cry foul! It’s like when I was little and my parents would spank me and then I would say that they “hit my leg” and that they should have kept the rod on my rear to extract sympathy from them and make them feel bad.

How many times do I do that with the Lord? “God, you went a little too far in discipline that time!” Oh, how blind I am, but the blindness doesn’t last for long because then He takes me to the cross and says, “Wait a minute. I need you to see something. You see My precious, innocent and dear Son there? No, you have to look! You see Him there? Son, He has taken the punishment for your sin! He has borne your condemnation! You see the strikes on His back? Do you think that is an exaggeration? No! That was for your healing! And now when I discipline it is not because I’m angry with you but because I love you so much that I did not spare My Son and I want you to look just like Him! Know this, when I discipline you it is always for your good. It’s not because I want you out of the house or that you’re a horrible excuse for a son, it’s because Your mine that I treat you as I do, so don’t run from Me in discipline, run to Me, that you may see Me for all that I am and that you may share in My holiness. My discipline is for communion not condemnation…let My Son’s wounds be eternal evidence of that!”

I’ve read Hebrews 12:3-11 a million times but it took me disciplining my daughter the other morning to get it, as I cried over her, and truth was alive in my arms. Here’s how it happened: I was cleaning the toilet while Jody was at Bible Study and I turned around to get some other cleaning supplies and Ansley had the toilet brush in her hands as it dripped with bleach and bacteria, she knows she isn’t supposed to get it, so I put it back and took her in the kitchen and told her how dangerous that was, that she could die from the cleaner, and then I spanked her, probably the hardest to date…she cried and wailed and then looked at me as I was bent down on her level on the kitchen floor. Time stopped. She then ran to me, wrapped her little arms around my stomach and buried her head in my lap for a few minutes until she quit crying. I rubbed her back and assured her of my love toward her as I was choking up and crying over her. The discipline of the Lord made sense. Praise God it made sense! That was a profound moment for me.

I pray that no longer will I confuse His discipline for condemnation and that I won’t go pout in self-pity in the corner but that I’ll run and wrap my arms around Abba and bury my head in His lap until my crying is over. Jesus was killed so God could treat me with this kind of kindness and the same is true for you.

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by Him. For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives.”